How Do I Tell My Financial Advisor That I'm Broke

December 16, 2022

Read Time: 10 minutes

Hello friends!

I recently met with my financial advisor.  I asked her about all sorts of things: long-term planning, short-term planning, and things of that nature.  I asked her about things from my mother’s and father’s perspective.  She dropped a new finance term on me.  I found it comical.  The new finance term is “End of Retirement Planning.” 

My question is, what is at the end of retirement?

We have found ourselves in a world that is changing quickly.  The iPhone 12 turns into the iPhone 13 in the blink of an eye.  The idea of retirement seems like something that will not happen until the iPhone 69, but I still hope it happens.  I hope it happens because retirement is not something I can touch or taste or feel.  It’s a hope.  I hope it happens, the same way I hope that nobody in my family is ever harmed ever.  I hope it happens, the same way I hope it rains ice cream and fairy dust.  I hope for retirement. 

And how do I get to retirement?  I suppose I start by working really hard my whole life. 

But then, the question comes: what if I work really hard my whole life and do not get to retire?  What if I work my entire life?  What if I become a 75-year-old greeter at Wal-Mart?  What if aliens invade and completely reconfigure everything we know about everyday financial life? 

Then I relax.  These are all normal thoughts to have about the future. 

***

I came out of college and looked out to a world of opportunity.  It was amazing.  Most entry-level jobs after college pay anywhere between $30,000-$50,000.  It seemed like a great deal.  I had worked all sorts of places during college and before college…none of them offered me that kind of money.  After graduation, the avenues for success seemed clear:

1. Stay with your first company and your first job and take raises.

2. Stay with your first company, get a new job, and take raises.

3. Find a new company with a similar job and take raises.

4. Find a new company and a new job and take raises.

So where does the trouble start?

The trouble starts with finding a fifth option.  The trouble starts by pretending to be Nicholas Cage in National Treasure and finding that “third door” that Harvey Keitel says doesn’t exist.  The trouble starts by acting like there are any other rules to this world other than gravity.  What is the fifth option?  Preparing for an alien invasion feels like the right answer…but that seems too hard.

For me, the fifth option starts with writing what I am writing right now.  Writing about my financial ideas for myself and my peers.  I think these friendly reminders are applicable, whether you make $30,000/year, $50,000/year, or $150,000/year.  I’m trying to take a deep hard look at the world and the people around me and find things that matter to all of us.  Because whether you make $30,000 or $150,000, we all love wine and chocolate.  And we should not feel bad about purchasing wine and chocolate.  And some of us can afford $100 bottles of wine and $30 boxes of chocolate, while others can afford $15 bottles of wine and a $2 chocolate bar.  Both of these options are tasty.  And nobody should feel anxiety about purchases as simple as wine and chocolate.

***

To me, these are not rules.  They’re just friendly reminders about surviving the stress of personal finance in today’s world.  Here’s a couple of them:

1.     Be Wary Of All Debt

When I say “All Debt” I mean, all debt.  I get it: mortgages, going to college, and all of that stuff that means “taking on debt.”  It is a part of the American Dream.  These things are debt that you have to pay back.  Not paying them back means tough-tough decision making down the road.

Don’t get it wrong, debt is good.  Shoot, debt can be great. 

But I know plenty of people who have no clue what it means to take on debt.  These people are extremely young and I know how tough that can be on individuals going forward.  Debt is a tough decision.

2.     Real Estate Is The Only Natural Resource That Isn’t Going Anywhere In A Free-Market Society

Okay, this one has a little bit more to unpack.

What I mean by “Real Estate” is land.  The easiest way to get “Real Estate” is by taking on debt.  Please note that I said, “Be Wary Of All Debt.”  I did not say, debt is bad. 

In a free-market world where individuals make decisions and property is protected, getting land for debt is a great deal.  You can pass it on for generations.  You can construct the debt so it’s not stressful to pay off.  This is all great.  Without a free-market, individuals would not be able to make these decisions.  And kings, single-parties, and alien overlords would force us to live by their own rules.

Natural resources will go away.  Then, they’ll come back.  Energy reserves will go away.  New energy reserves will grow.  But the land we all live on, that will remain.  Whether the soil goes bad and turns good…or the market tanks and rises again, the land will remain.  And having stake in the land, through debt or outright ownership, seems like a good and consistent investment.

Once the aliens invade, I’ll have to update this friendly reminder.

3.     Education Is The Best Route.  You Can Take Your Degree Anywhere.

Okay, this one has a little more to unpack as well. 

In the first friendly reminder “Be Wary Of All Debt,” I talk about mortgages and going to college and to be wary of these debts…then in the second friendly reminder, I talk about getting a mortgage.  Now I’m talking about going to college.  What gives?

The world is not complicated.  We make it complicated with our thinking and all of that.  The reality is, there are only so many paths we can go down in this one lifetime that we all have. 

I remember the sale of college growing up: “go to college and you’ll make 10 ka-billion more dollars in your lifetime than you will if you don’t go to college.”  The sell went something like that.

It doesn’t take long after college to start seeing all these jobs that you don’t need a college degree for:

-        Waitress

-        Brick Layer

-        Union jobs

-        Corporate office job

These are jobs that have built this world.

Let me clarify this friendly reminder, “Education Is The Best Route.” 

If you get a degree to go to medical school, law school, to teach children, or become a physicist, then you should absolutely 100% go to college.  College has the best avenues for you to be able to raise your income.  You can get your bachelor’s, master’s, and doctorate, and people will offer you more money to do more research and get better jobs and all of that good stuff. 

And the best part is, once the aliens invade, they will want the doctors and physicists to take care of all the normal people out there.  The aliens will put the doctors in strategic locations (e.g., New York City, Tokyo, etc.) to help with all the broken arms the aliens are too busy to figure out. The lawyers will be dispersed because the aliens will have too little time to solve human law.  The physicists will get the aliens up to speed with human physics.  The teachers will go wherever teaching is needed.  

I have faith in our alien overlords.

4.     Find A Partner

We’re slowing down now.  This is basic math.  Having a partner in life is great (e.g., boy-boy, girl-girl, boy-girl, alien-girl, or whatever). 

Having a partner means double the hands, double the feet, double the mouths, and double the brains to solve all issues in life.  It also can mean double the income, if you choose.  I’d ask your partner about all these things before you lock down that partner.

5.     Read Everything/Question Everything.  Do Not Discriminate.

Each of these are friendly reminders, except for this one.  It is a piece of advice.  It’s done me well.  Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean I’m happy/smiley all the time and have life figured out.  It’s just done me well.

Question everything: your mother, your father, your pastor, your teacher, your boss, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, everything.

Read everything: your paper, the paper you hate, a book, a book that makes you sleep after one page, everything.

Here is an example of what I’m talking about.  It is a boyfriend and girlfriend talking about their car:

“Hey babe, I have a problem with the car…”

“Hey babe, I have a question: why should I care?”

Then she’ll say, “The insurance doesn’t cover an alien invasion, baaaaaabbbbbbbbe.  Don’t you care about sending our kids to school?  We’re already short on the mortgage this month!”

It helps to know that we’re all in this strange financial system together.

***

Even in the last friendly reminder, “Read Everything/Question Everything,” it’s just a suggestion.  Myself, I don’t question everything.  It gets exhausting after a while.  For instance, if I had asked too many questions about “End of Retirement Planning” to my financial advisor, I’m sure we would have realized we all sort of have zero clue what’s going on.  I do not question that fact at all.

I wish I could go on and make more friendly reminders.  I feel this is a good place to stop.  I am interested in finding more friendly reminders.  My first step in finding more friendly reminders for surviving the financial world that we all live in…I’m going to first go talk to my financial advisor.

Time for a joke:

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

It was feeling crumby.